I am so self absorbed

There are a few things in my life I would like to change. Specifically they are things I do, or don't do. Something that has really bothered me about myself is my lack of discipline when in comes to recognizing birthdays, anniversaries, or even thank you's. Don't get me wrong, I remember every birthday and anniversary. I have this little date book in my head that remembers all sorts of numbers, including dates, addresses, phone numbers, etc. I often think my mind is so overloaded with numbers that there is no room for anything else, hence my inability to remember anything not associated with a number. As far as birthday's and anniversaries, I have over 20 cards that I have bought, signed, and addressed over the last few years. Stamps never seem to get on the cards and they don't make it to the mailbox. Then, by the time I realize, it is way to late and insulting to send. I even have this problem with gifts that need to be mailed. I have all the intention and heart in the world but it never fully gets completed. Thank you notes are the same way. I am so grateful for the many things I have, and I am not just talking about material possessions. I have wonderful friends and family that deserve a lifetime of thank you's. They never know how much I love and appreciate them on a daily basis. It makes me sad that I can't seem to follow through with a thank you letter. I was not raised this way. My grandma taught me to write thank you notes. I completely understand how important they are to people. It makes me so sad that I hurt the feelings of others because I can't get it done. I could give all sorts of reasons...I have two kids and am too busy, when I think about it I am not near a card, I never have stamps, or that the US postal service has raised the price yet again and I now need one cent stamps. I could give many other excuses but the real reason is that I screwed up. The thoughts of letting others down because of my rudeness consumes my thoughts on a daily basis, I hate conflict. Mostly, I just hate hurting the ones I love the most.

For those of you that I have hurt by not recognizing you, I am truly sorry. It is not my intention to show ungratefulness. I just stink at this for some reason. Please know that you are all my greatest life joys and I am truly appreciative for all you do for me and my family. I am very blessed.

Any ideas on how to overcome this issue? I'm all ears.