Not Me Monday

Just wanted to write a quick update since things have been super crazy. I never miss a chance to get things off my chest from the past week and enjoy the carnival over at Mckmama's.

This week, I absolutely did not walk out my front door and find a fairly large box sitting on the stoop. I did not immediately get excited about the possibilities inside, especially when I read the box contained 500 of each. It was not addressed to Greg and I naturally did not rip it open right there on the front steps. I would never open a package addressed to my husband. I was not completely puzzled, shocked, horrified, and embarrassed when I found this.

Do you see the name on the packaging????? Look real hard! Yeppers, those are not 500 Trojan condoms. Apparently Greg did not win some sort of contest and this was not one of several prizes. (Just for your information, he did not enter the contest for this prize, seriously)

Can you say...YUCK!!! Even if this did happen, I definitely would never ever share it with my friends, family, and sweet dear blogger friends. Nope, not me!

Greg and I totally did not spend an entire hour trying to convince, coax, bribe, and threaten our near six year old daughter that her tooth needed to be pulled. This was not her very first loose tooth. We absolutely did not horrify her with stories of our dad's pulling our teeth out with pliers. When we finally pulled the tooth, she didn't even know her daddy had actually already pulled it out. Truly! Too funny! (I just realized, our childhood stories of teeth pulling had an eerie similarity to those stories our parents told us as children..."I walked 10 miles to school, both ways, in the snow..." Funny, well maybe you had to be there.

Hope you enjoyed some of the strange adventures of my week. I would love to hear what you think and would love to hear your Not Me's.

Not Me Monday

Welcome to another fantastic addition of Not Me Monday, the day where we all get to be brutally honest about all we did not do during the week. I, for one, feel so much better getting this stuff off my chest, well, if I actually did do this stuff, which I did not. :) Enjoy!

I did not notice that my sweet one year old son had stolen his big sisters pb&j sandwich and wound up smearing grape jelly all over the couch and his body. I absolutely did not run for the camera instead of a towel. Of course the batteries were not completely dead. I then did not try to take batteries out of toys in order to get a picture of this lovely mess. With all of the work I put into this picture, it absolutely did not get deleted off of my camera. I did not wind up with grape jelly on my other couch, toys, books, and carpet because I was so adamant about getting a picture. I am not that obsessed with capturing EVERYTHING in photographs. One picture of this debacle is not more important than no stains on my brand new couches. Nope, not me!

I did not walk into my living room after doing dishes to find my son playing with toilet paper. I absolutely did not encourage my son to continue unrolling the toilet paper so that I could get a picture, see above "not me". We did not waist a brand new roll of toilet paper in the name of fun. I completely did not enjoy my time with my son and realize that toilet paper can be enjoyed in a whole new way. Who knew?!? That would be weird and embarrassing.

My sweet son, who will be 2 in March, absolutely did not lean to the side in his booster seat at the table and "let one rip" during dinner time. My husband would never have taught him this disgusting trick. His Mommy, Sister, and Daddy so did not laugh our heads off in shock at what he just did. Said sweet son did not let out a big sigh of relief after all the laughing was over to only induce more laughing. My sweet son did not think he was the funniest thing ever. We do not encourage this kind of behavior at the dinner table and it is only met with quick discipline and never laughing. I do not often feel as though I live in a zoo. And even if all of this did happen, I certainly wouldn't let anyone know about it. Sheeeeeshh!

During dinner Wednesday night, my beautiful family and I never sat at the table with the laptop on so we could watch live video of a police chase taking place in Los Angeles. Any form of technical entertainment is not allowed at dinner time because we love talking to each other and completely enjoy one another's company. We would also never subject our precious children to something that may have a possible violent outcome. Our children live in a complete bubble knowing nothing of evil. If we had watched this live video, we would not have all been standing around the computer as the criminal jumped out of the U-Haul. We would not have been yelling at the computer for the police to catch him/her. And since we were obviously not watching this video, we would not have stood there and debated if this was a man or a woman. My sweet beautiful daughter would not have said "Of course it's a woman because she has big boobies like mommy". I did not need to put that in quotes because you only put things in quotes that were actually said. I would not have joined in the laughter along with my family while my sweet daughter tried to convince me that I do have big boobies. Goodness, I love that child.

Finally, all that screaming you heard last night, well that was definitely not me losing my voice while screaming for the Steelers to win the Superbowl. I do not care about football nor do I scream at T.V.'s. I am a dignified quiet, traditional woman who spent her evening doing dishes, laundry, and taking care of my family's every need. Ha Ha! Yeah Right! I was probably the loudest one on the block. I think I have a cramp in my wrist from swinging the terrible towel so much. GOOOO STEELERS!!!! (Or as they say in Pittsburgh, Go Stillers!). I do not speak Pittsburgese (but I'm learning) :)

Leave me a comment and come back for my next blog on all the fun crafts I have been doing. So fun!!

Not Me Monday

Golly Gee I love Monday's. It has become a day where I can be honest about all the things I did not do the previous week and know that this week will only bring more great stuff to write about. Join me in celebrating all you did not do. I did not take over 400 pictures of the inauguration on Tuesday in order to practice photo techniques only to throw most of them out because the inauguration made me cry (not tears of joy). I did not reheat my cup of coffee 4x by 3 in the afternoon and still not get to drink it. I was not completely sad about the waste of coffee and creamer. I do not care that much about coffee. It has not become my breakfast and lunch for the last 2 months. I. am... not.. addicted!!! I absolutely did not slam my finger in the car door and only realize it when I started walking away from the car. I did not have to unlock the door to get it out. It did not come out at a sideways nearly 90* angle at my middle knuckle. It is so not taking me nearly an hour to type my weekly not me's because it is my right index finger that is broken. I so totally did not want to slap the nurse at urgent care who rolled her eyes at me when I asked her to be a little more gentle while cleaning off the blood from my finger. I did not have a horrible experience and will absolutely not tell everyone I know not to go to this urgent care. I am completely not bitter. :) I am not asking that people start following my blog and send me comments because I am completely above groveling and begging. I do not care if people follow my blog because I have zero insecurities. Ha Ha!!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

What a crazy week this has been. There are so many things that did not happen and I am excited about getting these things down, especially since these things are a complete figment of my imagination.

During this beautiful week, I definitely did not have to deal with a sweet little boy with pink eye in both eyes who also gave it to his darling sister and loving mommy. We do not teach our children to share in this house therefore there was no reason we would have a household full of double pink eye. Oh What Fun!

I did not tell my amazing 5 year old the horrible words of "Shut Up" because she had been talking and whining non-stop for over an hour. I would never say those awful words to my child, or anyone to that matter. And of course I did not cry uncontrollably after apologizing to her over and over. I did not feel like the worst mother in the universe because I know that I am a perfect mother. YEAH RIGHT!!

Finally, I did not and would never allow myself to get so excited when the Steelers played in the AFC championship last night. I absolutely did not allow my 5 year old to watch the game with us until nearly 11 p.m. We did not jump up and down on the bed when Troy Polomalu caught the game changing interception and run in for a touchdown. I am not that obsessed with sports and could really care less about the outcome of some stupid football game. Ha Ha! That's a funny one. I crack myself up. Not really!

I wonder what things I will not do next week. Hhhmmmm!

White as snow

"Come now, lets settle this,"

says the Lord.

"Though your sins are like scarlet,

I will make them as white as snow.

Though they are red like crimson,

I will make them as white as wool."

Isaiah 1:18

Today was an absolutely beautiful day. I was reminded of God's beauty, grace, and promises. I went outside and walked around by myself and just breathed in the beauty of God. Sometimes I just need to be alone with God, clear my mind, and listen. These are a few of the sights I captured. I am always blown away by his attention to details.

On my walk back I started noticing the mucky mess that was becoming of some of the snow piles. These were places that cars had driven over or where days worth of snow had been piled up by dirty snow shovels. I started to think of the Bible verse in Isaiah that I posted above. I am so grateful that my sins are "white as snow". You see, I know that underneath me is dirty, ugly, and unworthy. I don't deserve the beautiful grace that God has given. I think about how Jesus took ALL of my sin upon himself, all the sins of the world, past, present, and future, and sacrificed His precious life for us. No one deserves that free gift, that immeasurable and priceless gift. But God loves us so much that he gave us this opportunity to accept Jesus as our personal Savior and have everlasting life with Him. I am so thankful for that. I praise Him because he has covered that dirt, grime, and ugliness, washed it away and covered me so that I am white as snow.

"But to all who believed him and accepted him,

he gave the right to become children of God.

They are reborn - not with a physical birth

resulting from human passion or plan,

but a birth that comes from God."

John 1:12-13

"Thank you Father for my new life. Thank you that you have washed me white as snow and that all the yuckiness and ugliness beneath me is washed away. Thank you that your Grace falls down on me so that I may be pure. Thank you dear Heavenly Father for the beauty outside my window, under my feet, and all around me in my life. You are so precious Father and I praise your name."

Amen

Observations of a 5 year old

Matthew is sick. Part of him being sick involves a very red and swollen eye. Tonight at dinner, Haley mentioned that Matthew looks like Prince Zuko from the show "Avatar The Last Airbender" It is one of her favorite shows.
We thought it was a pretty good observation. What do you think?

Rebecca....This one's for you!

Rebecca, thanks for your comment. This is a post just for you!
For everyone else, I cut my hair, check out this post. This is the after picture, after a day of cleaning house, taking care of a sick baby, and a sick husband.

Brandy :)