Not Me Monday

Oh my goodness, I am so thankful for this Not Me Monday. I have so much to get off my chest of things that happened this week, that is, if they actually did happen. I mean, seriously, if these things actually happened, I so would not be telling anyone about them.

If you would like to join this crazy carnival, head over to MckMama's site. It is really great therapy...trust me.

So, this week started out as any other...yeah right!

I did not wind up taking my beautiful 2 year old son to the emergency room, the pediatrician, and the surgeon in a span of 3 days so they could all see that he ripped the stitches in his scrotum. He does not have a gaping hole there. We did not spend $130 in co-pays for each doctor to tell us, "YIKES! That's not good!" (Gee, ya think?) We do not have to continue to deal with this gaping hole as it heals on its own.
We are not 100% THANKFUL TO OUR HEAVENLY FATHER that our beloved son does not have to go back into surgery. Ahhhhhhhh!

On a much lighter note....I did not go to change out the laundry (put the washed clothes into the dryer) only to smell a strong urine odor. I did not discover at the bottom pile of clothes a used dirty diaper that had been washed along with our "clean" clothes. I did not spend a good 15 minutes cleaning out said washing machine because the diaper had completely fallen apart in the washer. There was not diaper particles ALL OVER my "clean" clothes. I did not have to rewash everything again. I AM NOT happy that there was only urine in that diaper. Sheeesh!

I did not fall up the stairs holding my beloved two year old and injure my back, shoulder and elbow. My middle name has not become Grace. I do not have a serious issue falling UP the stairs.

I know there is so much more that I could share, but I am feeling exhausted by all of this honesty (you know, telling you about the things that really did not happen). I think I need to go take a nap.

Oh, one more thing, I did not sleep in until 10:15 this morning on accident. My children were not still sleeping. I did not completely panic because I have so much to do today, including getting my 6 year old on the bus. I am not writing this post instead of doing the things I need to do in hopes of getting somewhere in the top 200 of MckMama's list this time so I have new readers leave me comments. I absolutely do not heart comments from my readers.


Love you all,
Have a blessed day!!!
JESUS CHRIST IS LORD OF ALL!

Not Me Monday....IT'S BAAAACKKK!!!!!

I am so very thrilled that everything is back to a sense of "normal" in MckMama's household. In celebration she has restarted "Not Me! Monday". I am so excited...and you should be too.


This is the time where you get to share all the things you "did not do" over the week. It is great therapy and helps remind us that we are all in this "life thing" together.


Enjoy today's post and make sure you check out all the other wonderful Not Me! posts over at MckMama's site.


And....off we go!


This week I most certainly did not allow my darling children to eat red jello in my living room for dessert. One of my children, who shall remain nameless....okay, really it was me (shhhh! don't tell) did not spill red jello on the light beige carpet. It is most certainly not still there several days later. I am much more neurotic than that and would never leave food, especially liquified red jello, on my living room carpet. I sure hope it comes out.



I did not laugh hysterically at my 6 year old daughter when she chose her own outfit for school last week. She absolutely did not put on her baby brothers 18 month size jeans and a 2T jean jacket. She did not look absolutely adorable. And, of course, I did not allow my darling daughter to actually wear that outfit to school. I wish I had taken a picture.



Finally, I did not take my beautiful 2 year old son to the hospital on Wednesday for three different surgeries, thankfully all at once, and then come home and blog about said surgery complete with pictures. The blog did not include the word "testicle". I would never blog about my son's "man parts" so that one day he would be completely embarrassed. Nope, not me! I did not contemplate taking pictures of the swelling, bruising, stitched up lower area to show family and friends. Who in their right mind would do that? ( I seriously did not take those pictures).

Hope you enjoyed all the stuff I did not do, because if I really did do these things, I never would have blogged about it. Let me hear the crazy things you "did not" do this week. It's really great therapy.

UPDATE:
After reading a few of the other posts, I remembered something else I did not do this past week, or so.

At our somewhat formal MOPS Tea and Testimony 2 weeks ago, I did not actually dress up like a girl. Beautiful flowing Spring dress and new 3 in heeled shoes. I was not completely miserable in those shoes and could not understand why I was in so much pain because I had worn the shoes the day before and they were fairly comfortable. I did not finally look at the bottom of my shoes while showing one of the ladies on Steering. (We just decided that the shoes looked like they didn't fit me well) I did not then discover that the shoes were on the wrong feet. Oh yeah! See the pictures so you can see what I saw. I was not completely mortified and did not laugh so hard that tears began pouring out of my eyes. I was definitely not the "comedy relief" for my MOPS table and Steering group. Nope, not me!

Can you see how these shoes just don't look like they fit me right? Hmmmmm! Should have been a clue?!?

This is a view of what I saw (re-enacted for picture purposes). Can you see how half of my foot is hanging off the side of the shoe....no support. I can not tell you how much better my feet felt after switching the shoes to the right feet. What a relief.

Not Me Monday

Just wanted to write a quick update since things have been super crazy. I never miss a chance to get things off my chest from the past week and enjoy the carnival over at Mckmama's.

This week, I absolutely did not walk out my front door and find a fairly large box sitting on the stoop. I did not immediately get excited about the possibilities inside, especially when I read the box contained 500 of each. It was not addressed to Greg and I naturally did not rip it open right there on the front steps. I would never open a package addressed to my husband. I was not completely puzzled, shocked, horrified, and embarrassed when I found this.

Do you see the name on the packaging????? Look real hard! Yeppers, those are not 500 Trojan condoms. Apparently Greg did not win some sort of contest and this was not one of several prizes. (Just for your information, he did not enter the contest for this prize, seriously)

Can you say...YUCK!!! Even if this did happen, I definitely would never ever share it with my friends, family, and sweet dear blogger friends. Nope, not me!

Greg and I totally did not spend an entire hour trying to convince, coax, bribe, and threaten our near six year old daughter that her tooth needed to be pulled. This was not her very first loose tooth. We absolutely did not horrify her with stories of our dad's pulling our teeth out with pliers. When we finally pulled the tooth, she didn't even know her daddy had actually already pulled it out. Truly! Too funny! (I just realized, our childhood stories of teeth pulling had an eerie similarity to those stories our parents told us as children..."I walked 10 miles to school, both ways, in the snow..." Funny, well maybe you had to be there.

Hope you enjoyed some of the strange adventures of my week. I would love to hear what you think and would love to hear your Not Me's.

Not Me Monday

Welcome to another fantastic addition of Not Me Monday, the day where we all get to be brutally honest about all we did not do during the week. I, for one, feel so much better getting this stuff off my chest, well, if I actually did do this stuff, which I did not. :) Enjoy!

I did not notice that my sweet one year old son had stolen his big sisters pb&j sandwich and wound up smearing grape jelly all over the couch and his body. I absolutely did not run for the camera instead of a towel. Of course the batteries were not completely dead. I then did not try to take batteries out of toys in order to get a picture of this lovely mess. With all of the work I put into this picture, it absolutely did not get deleted off of my camera. I did not wind up with grape jelly on my other couch, toys, books, and carpet because I was so adamant about getting a picture. I am not that obsessed with capturing EVERYTHING in photographs. One picture of this debacle is not more important than no stains on my brand new couches. Nope, not me!

I did not walk into my living room after doing dishes to find my son playing with toilet paper. I absolutely did not encourage my son to continue unrolling the toilet paper so that I could get a picture, see above "not me". We did not waist a brand new roll of toilet paper in the name of fun. I completely did not enjoy my time with my son and realize that toilet paper can be enjoyed in a whole new way. Who knew?!? That would be weird and embarrassing.

My sweet son, who will be 2 in March, absolutely did not lean to the side in his booster seat at the table and "let one rip" during dinner time. My husband would never have taught him this disgusting trick. His Mommy, Sister, and Daddy so did not laugh our heads off in shock at what he just did. Said sweet son did not let out a big sigh of relief after all the laughing was over to only induce more laughing. My sweet son did not think he was the funniest thing ever. We do not encourage this kind of behavior at the dinner table and it is only met with quick discipline and never laughing. I do not often feel as though I live in a zoo. And even if all of this did happen, I certainly wouldn't let anyone know about it. Sheeeeeshh!

During dinner Wednesday night, my beautiful family and I never sat at the table with the laptop on so we could watch live video of a police chase taking place in Los Angeles. Any form of technical entertainment is not allowed at dinner time because we love talking to each other and completely enjoy one another's company. We would also never subject our precious children to something that may have a possible violent outcome. Our children live in a complete bubble knowing nothing of evil. If we had watched this live video, we would not have all been standing around the computer as the criminal jumped out of the U-Haul. We would not have been yelling at the computer for the police to catch him/her. And since we were obviously not watching this video, we would not have stood there and debated if this was a man or a woman. My sweet beautiful daughter would not have said "Of course it's a woman because she has big boobies like mommy". I did not need to put that in quotes because you only put things in quotes that were actually said. I would not have joined in the laughter along with my family while my sweet daughter tried to convince me that I do have big boobies. Goodness, I love that child.

Finally, all that screaming you heard last night, well that was definitely not me losing my voice while screaming for the Steelers to win the Superbowl. I do not care about football nor do I scream at T.V.'s. I am a dignified quiet, traditional woman who spent her evening doing dishes, laundry, and taking care of my family's every need. Ha Ha! Yeah Right! I was probably the loudest one on the block. I think I have a cramp in my wrist from swinging the terrible towel so much. GOOOO STEELERS!!!! (Or as they say in Pittsburgh, Go Stillers!). I do not speak Pittsburgese (but I'm learning) :)

Leave me a comment and come back for my next blog on all the fun crafts I have been doing. So fun!!